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Success doesn't always come with the first attempt.

Last year I completed 2 successful campaign walks for whales in the SE of Australia, about 2000kms without too many mishaps. It left me with a feeling of achievement and that warm glowing feeling you get when you know you have made a difference in this world.

This year I completed 2 weeks of an 11 week campaign walk for shark conservation. After only 240kms I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Dangerous drivers, 55 degree celsius radiation heat, un-nerving interest from the fishing industry, constant head wind, a phenominal number of punctures in my cart tyres, total lack of interest from schools, no road support or safety crew, lack of safe camping sites, physical injury and psychological stress. Each day felt worse than the last until the day I decided to stop.

Suddenly all the stress was released, my injuries began to heal and the fishermen stopped phoning me. 

Within hours of putting a hold on the walk the feelings of failure began pouring into my head. I was failing the sharks, the campaign, supporters, media who had covered my story, my committee, family and myself. The fear of people seeing me as boggus or a fraud weighed heavily on my heart, having no control of others judgement of my actions.

The tears that soaked my pillow for nights after were of relief, anger, self contempt, guilt and emptiness.

My sister-in-law warned me this might happen.

Shifting focus from myself back to the campaign I began to plan the next assault of The Shark Walk. This has given me the opportunity to veiw it from a distance, re-assess the risks involved and create a more effective and safer campaign. Next time I will be taking my fiance and his car with lots of flashing lights and pedestrian warning signs. There will be no 55kg trekking cart to drag into the wind and my water, food and shelter will be carried in the support vehicle.

The best outcome from this minor set-back is the development of a better campaign style. No more epic treks, more community friendly, short campaign walks for long weekends or weekend to weekend in places relevant to the cause. I hope this will generate positive media attention and attract some serious sponsorship.

Having a deeper and more personal impact on communities and raising a profit will do much more for ocean conservation than risking my safety.

The cherry on top is no more bulking on extra weight. I have always had weight issues but when I trek it falls off at a rate of 5kg per 150km week. For treks of over 1000kms I have to bulk up at least 20kgs so I don't end up underweight. I start walks feeling very self-conscious but now I can start walking at my normal healthy weight and reduce the stress on my feet, ankles, knees and heart.

I may stumble and fall but I will always get back on my feet and walk on.